I don’t know about you, but when I was a teenager I was HELL ON WHEELS!
I didn’t have respect for anyone, I hated my life and I acted out all the time and I got into a bunch of trouble because of it.
Don’t get me wrong…
…it’s not like I think my mom and dad screwed up intentionally. They just didn’t know any better and they truly did the best they could with what they knew back then.
But as I grew up and became a dad myself I was committed to being a better version of a dad to my son and daughter than my dad was to me.
In this blog post I just want to address your teenage son for now. But I’ll write a separate blog post about dads and daughters another time.
THESE ARE THE THREE THINGS YOUR TEENAGE SON IS LOOK FOR FROM YOU…
1) Boundaries. One of the biggest mistakes dads today make is they don’t create enough boundaries for their sons. I think far too often dads want to be liked more than they want to be respected. So you end up letting your teenage son play video games longer than he should, you allow him to be disrespectful to you and others and you don’t correct him on thing like his time on the phone, eating crappy and lack of physical activity.
The problem with that is your sons actually WANT to respect you, but until you decide to actually parent them they will NOT respect you. They want boundaries set. They want you to be hard on them from time to time, because that’s the only way they will respect you and like you.
You see your teenage son’s job at this age is to test you, to challenge you and to push the boundaries. And then more you let him get away with it then less he will respect you.
2) Lead by example. All men, but teenagers especially expect the men they look up to to be congruent with what they expect of them. So if you’re asking your son to be a certain way, but you are not an example of that then you are showing up as a hypocrite to your son.
Look you can tell your son to not be on his phone all day and not to play video games all the time and to exercise and eat right, but unless you’re an living breathing example of that, he’s just going to ignore you.
3) Test and challenge him. Every boy looks up to his father to show him the way of men. Our boys want to know if they have what it takes to be men. This is a sacred rite of passage. And your son wants to hear dad say “son, you have what it takes”.
But in order for you to tell your son that he has what it takes to be a man, he must be tested and challenged throughout his teens. Two books that I always recommend dads to read are RAISING A MODERN DAY KNIGHT by Robert Lewis and WILD AT HEART by John Eldredge – both these books go in-depth in how vital it is for a dad to test and challenge his son and to create a rite of passage opportunity for him into manhood.
And that’s what I created the Squire Program – one day father and son experience to help you usher your teenage son into manhood. We have Squire Programs in California, Texas, North Carolina, Colorado, Illinois and Florida. If you want to really have a memorable and life changing experience with your son then find the location and date that works best for you and take your son to an upcoming Squire Program.