As fathers, we do the best we can.
I know my father did the best he could raising me.
He worked multiple jobs just to keep a roof over our heads. He escaped communism to give us a better life. He taught me work ethic by example – even when he was exhausted, he showed up.
I’m sure you have your own stories of your father you could share.
The truth is, our fathers weren’t perfect. And neither are we.
We all have our own battles we fight and wounds we carry from the men who raised us.
My dad didn’t show me affection the way I show my kids.
(That’s just not what Armenian men did back then.)
And I don’t blame him for that. Not one bit.
He gave me everything he had. And that was enough to get me where I am today.
I share this with you because here’s what I realized as I became a father myself:
Just because our fathers did the best they could
doesn’t mean we can’t do better for our sons.
We have an opportunity they didn’t have.
We can break the cycles.
We can fill the gaps.
We can teach our sons the lessons we had to learn the hard way.
Regardless of your relationship with your father, understand…
Our fathers didn’t fail us…
They gave us the chance to build on what they gave us.
To be able to write our own narrative of what fatherhood should look like.
HERE’S HOW YOU CAN DO THAT:
1.) ACKNOWLEDGE THE WOUND WITHOUT BLAME
Your father did the best he could with what he had. But that doesn’t mean you don’t carry wounds from what was missing.
Acknowledge those wounds. Not to resent your father, but to make sure you don’t pass them on to your son.
2.) TEACH WHAT YOU WEREN’T TAUGHT
If your father didn’t teach you how to handle emotions – teach your son to control his.
Didn’t show you physical affection – show your son affection.
Didn’t teach you how to lead – teach your son to be a leader.
This is how you turn what you learned the hard way into what your son learns the right way.
3.) BE PRESENT IN WAYS HE COULDN’T BE
Maybe your father worked too much, was emotionally unavailable, or just didn’t know how to connect. Whatever it was, you can change that with your son.
Take him to the gym with you.
Teach him a skill you wish you learned earlier.
Ask him about his life and listen.
Your son doesn’t need a flawless father. He needs a real one who’s willing to break the cycles.
Your father did the best he could.
Now it’s your turn to do the best you can – and that starts with showing up for your son in ways that matter.
You’re doing great man.
Talk soon,
Bedros Keuilian
P.S. You can’t change what your father did or didn’t do. But you can break the generational cycles and give your son what you needed at his age.
P.P.S. The Squire Program was created to help fathers do exactly that – a one-day father-son experience where you build the bond and teach the lessons that matter most.
P.P.P.S. Spots are filling up fast for our January 31st class. If you’re ready to show up for your son in a way that changes everything, secure your spot now.