The Legacy of a Man

In the Project, we have an evolution called “the dash”.

This evolution involves digging yourself a shallow grave in an undisclosed area by the Chino State Prison at two o’clock in the morning…

…and then getting into a body bag that’s placed in that grave, zipping it closed and listening to me give your eulogy.

Now, the eulogy I give is a brutally honest one that highlights your shortcomings, false starts, and the lies you’ve told yourself and others throughout your life.

After some time of reflection, we unzip the body bags and let you out.

Then we spend the next hour or so journaling what you experienced in the body bag and then we go into a writing session where you write your final eulogy… in other words how you plan to live your life from this day forward.

As you might imagine this is a VERY powerful experience and the men who have gone through it have literally changed and leveled up in all four major areas of life: faith, family, fitness, and finances.

I want to do an exercise with you right now.

If you have a son this might speak to you…

Imagine getting the email below from your son when you’re in your 50’s.

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Hey dad, I’m in a bad place right now and need to tell you what’s on my heart…

I see the people I follow on social media as Father Figures instead of you.

They’ve taught me things I wish YOU taught me.

I wish you taught me how to be a man.

I don’t know how to be one.

I’m lost, and I don’t know what to do about it.

I feel so insecure around other men.

I feel like a fraud.

I wish you taught me that I don’t need others’ approval.

I can’t do anything without seeking validation from others.

I base my self-worth on the validation they give me. And it’s not a lot.

I wish you taught me about women.

My dating life is in the gutter.

Because I’m not confident, I’m Mr. Nice Guy.

I’m always a friend, and I don’t know how to get out of the friendzone.

And I don’t know how to treat women properly. I wish you took the time to show me this, or I wouldn’t always feel alone.

I wish you taught me to fight and to defend myself.

If you had, then maybe I wouldn’t have all these passive-aggressive energies where I feel like I’m constantly exploding inside all while trying to maintain cool composure.

I don’t want to get into fights. But I know if I got into one I don’t know how to defend myself or anyone I’m with.

I suppose what I’m really asking for dad is that I wish you taught me how to be confident.

I wish you taught me how important my health is.

I’m embarrassed to take my shirt off. I’m overweight, and I eat out all the time.

I don’t know how to eat healthily.

My relationship with food is horrible. I use it to cope with my emotions.

I’m ashamed of the way I look because of my man boobs and gut.

I know I’m not healthy, but I don’t know what else to do. Sometimes I feel like I do this to punish myself… or really, maybe you.

Dad, I wish you would have taught me these things.

Your Son

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If you’re a man and this speaks to you then you might want to go here and learn more about the Project.

Nothing changes until something changes.